They say grief ebbs and flows and sneaks up on you unexpectedly, and lately I’ve been missing my mother a lot.
Today my phone showed me memories from this time last year. I was glad to see them, but they also made me cry.
It’s been, what, eight months? Close to a year. And I feel nothing close to okay. So much has happened. But even if I hadn’t, there’s a giant hole in my life. Everything feels wrong, like I’ve stumbled into an alternate universe. I don’t know when I’ll feel anchored or right again, but I’m certainly not there now.
Every day I want to tell her something, or ask her advice, or hear what she has to say. I often think that I will, until I remember. It’s awful. Selfishly, I still need her. And I just miss her presence.
She’s here, of course. Just not in the way I would like.
The only way is forwards. Unfortunately.
Share this post on social media.
I’m writing about the intersection of the internet, media, and society. Sign up to my newsletter to receive every post and a weekly digest of the most important stories from around the web.