This weekend, while I was out for a walk, my Apple Watch sent me a notification - actually buzzed my arm to let me know - that I was unfit. I had two reactions: firstly, how rude, and secondly, how bad did the situation have to be for it to proactively tell me?

I spent the first half of last year running every day and eating well. I lost a bunch of weight, but most importantly, I felt better: I had more energy and was sleeping better. I’d worked hard on it, and it hadn’t been easy. But then, halfway through the year, my mother died and I gave myself a pass. I haven’t paid real attention to my health since then.

Until now. I weighed myself and took my blood pressure, and discovered that both were higher than they’d been in a very long time. I already know that my ability to exercise and recover is far worse than it used to be.

There’s only so long I can let trauma be a pass for taking care of myself. So I’m starting clean: re-starting the running, re-starting the food regime. Not because I want to get thinner, but because I want to be healthy, because I want to feel better, and because I want to stick around.

I’m not mad at myself for letting myself get back to this state. I know why it happened. Nevertheless, now is the time to do something.

As annoying as that buzz on my arm was: I’m grateful that it gave me the push to take a further look.