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Getting by

A personal update:

I'm learning that I'm in the midst of real depression. In a world where I'm watching members of my family die, the country I live in deteriorate into fascism, the country I grew up in deteriorate in every possible way, and some other things that I don't want to write about here, it can be very difficult to find the points of light. It can, as a result, also be difficult for me to find clarity of focus.

I go to therapy almost every week, I take anxiety medication, and I'm trying to take care of myself. But I feel like, as a human, I need major changes in almost every possible way. I don't know how much of that is real and how much is my brain lying to me. I just know that I would like to be in a different place. It sometimes feels like other people know a magical secret that I don't, and if I could just find the incantation, my world would become better.

I also don't know whether the role of this space is to talk about ethical technology or to talk about my life. I'm trying for both - and, really, anything that interests me - but in practice there's always a balance between what I need to write for my own catharsis, and what other people would like to hear from me. I'm always interested in feedback on that front. Really, on all fronts.